This morning my pastor preached his third or fourth message in the sermon series he's on right now, about living above our circumstances. This morning's message was about staying strong by focusing on the future, letting go of the past, and letting God and his grace take care of the rest.
I think it's a good message for everybody. Heaven knows there are things in my past that I think about and cringe, comments I really shouldn't have made that soured friendships until the friendships didn't exist anymore...feeling like I had to apologize for everything I said to my friends, starting every phone call with, "I'm so sorry to bother you..." Not letting myself be who I am, in a nutshell. Trying to conform to everyone else's ideals of what Miri should be, and getting anxious and disheartened when they figured out that they didn't like, that either.
I'm ready to let go of all that, I think. From here on out, I want to be me, the best me that I possibly can. Do you want to be you? Is there anything stopping you from doing that? Are you stopping yourself?
See, I like thinking about things like this, even though it's uncomfortable to go back through all the junk that you've been holding onto. It's the writer in me, I think: these are strong themes to work with for a character, too. I've had a lot of good themes for characters come in lately, though I'm so far into my WiP that I won't be able to use as many as I'd like...the desire to be remembered, for instance, or to have a true purpose. Between the song "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt and a comic I read about one of my favorite television characters, Jet, called Fighting with Purpose, last night was very thoughtful for me. Might as well link to the comic, though you'll have to click on the big dark block to see it. If you're familiar with the show, so much the better, but I do think it'll stand on its own. (Just before the scene pictured, he said, "I'll be okay," and another character said with absolute certainty, "He's lying." Talk about powerful moments. That episode's been nominated for more awards than I can remember, so other people apparently feel the same.)
As for the song, there's a very nice video to it on Youtube set to clips of Legolas from Lord of the Rings (though I don't think I've actually watched the whole video...I just have it playing in the background as I'm reading other things). It starts off slow, but wait for the piano intro about a minute in. Guaranteed to put you in a pensive mood. It's absolutely beautiful.
Hmm...I had a point in there, somewhere, I think, but I seem to have lost it.