Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Back from Down Under

There'll be pictures as soon as I get them--I went without a digital camera and have to wait for mine to be developed, and maybe to beg some off of my fellow travelers. However, in the interest of battling the boredom that seems to settle in around this time of the year, here's an offering of bloopers, graciously lent to me by my good friend Isi over at The Spork Room and which are her intellectual property, etc., though she's more than happy to aid in the cause of spreading hilarity throughout the Wizarding community...I mean, blogosphere. (You know exactly where my mind is at the moment, right?)

So, without further ado, some of the nicest writing mistakes I've seen in quite awhile and their accompanying comments, courtesy of Isi's 2006 NaNo (which should explain a lot). Brought to you by the Foundation for Even if There's Not Somebody Worse Than You, Sometimes It Sure Looks Like It (also known as The Spork Room, come to think of it).

Yes, let us digress to things that may not become important for a number of chapters more. It begins in a different place, and quite a different time. In the past, elsewhere.

Redundant much?

"I appologize for this intrusion, dear lady," he told her. "But I have come to tell you the unfortunate news that you are nothing more than a plot device."

At least he's honest.

Isn't it fun that I'm using really short simple sentences?! The madness!

This book is full of authorial interruptions like that.

He (or she) fought off the immortal mob. It was quite epic, but my writing is not so I can't go into details at the moment.

Yep. Authorial interruptions.

"Do you understand what I say?"
"I understand that you're probably trying to sell me something."

Why does that sound like I stole it from the Princess Bride?

But this is sounding too much like Harry Potter. It is not supposed to be like Harry Potter. Let's see... let's brainstorm ways to make it less like Harry Potter sounding... darn, can't think of anything.

And I still don't know how to fix the resemblance to Harry Potter. ;_;
(I think we've all been there. Especially me. Especially lately. -M)

She tried it again, pushing with one hand and pulling with the other in a clockwise motion, which actually means anti-clockwise to you earth audience, because clocks in this world go in the opposite direction as clocks on earth. Just a random fun fact on the world building.

How would you specify that their clocks go counterclockwise anyway?

Yeah, none of this makes sense to me either, but moving on...

Yes, that is narration.

They were still a ways off, so she continued walking towards them, and this was a complete waste of a sentence. Anything for word count.

No comment.

"Have I told you how awesomely random I thought it was that you were breaking into the calendar mechanics?" he said, sounding suspiciously American.

My characters have a problem with using modern slang when they're not supposed to.

I'd just like to share that I have little idea where I'm going with this. Thank you.

Fourth wall? Where? I don't see anything.

That's the general way of wizards and sorcerers and mancers and alchemists and witches and hedgewizards and magi and the like.

Polysyndeton rules! Can you tell I was behind on my wordcount?
(M: I feel I must interrupt here, as this isn't even quite as bad as one I slipped into my first NaNo in 2005:

...country, area, territory, region, kingdom, nation, empire, or any of assorted other obscure but soldier-ridden landmasses or seas...)

He waited, biding his time in wait, waiting for the right moment to strike.

And then he waited some more!

He swooped in, pricked him with a nifty ninja needle type thing, which is the equivalent of knocking him over the head with less brain damage.

What. The. Spork?

The random large massive object of the reader's choice had not meant to contact anyone's windows when it joyously flew in the air from Fletcher's merry trebuchet, but of course it was a mistake that couldn't be remedied.

That may be the best line ever. Proud member of the Trebuchet Club!

Finishing with what I think is my favorite out of the bunch (though "nifty ninja needle type thing" comes close):
Well, he got shot with anachronism since we don't have guns.
And in icon form, courtesy of Ink Johnson:

Well, hope y'all enjoyed some of those. Kind of puts it in perspective, yes? Isi's a really good writer, but sometimes time pressures and ungodly amounts of caffeine can have devastating effects.

So, can you remember any hilarious bloopers you've made in your rush to get words written?

And, to touch on an earlier comment of mine, what are your plans for the Harry Potter Book 7 release night?


Isi said...

(M: I feel I must interrupt here, as this isn't even quite as bad as one I slipped into my first NaNo in 2005:

...country, area, territory, region, kingdom, nation, empire, or any of assorted other obscure but soldier-ridden landmasses or seas...)

That's not polysyndeton though. Now, if you stuck a conjunction between all those words you could nearly double the wordcount of that.

And strangely enough, I'm not a big consumer of caffine. I have no excuse for those... slip ups.

Ink Johnson said...

"Unfortunately, this meant I started thinking again."

Thinking! The horror!

(At least it's the character saying it, not the author.)

My plan for HP7 is: go to Borders at 5:30. Hang out for like 7 hours. Buy book. Go home and TEAR THROUGH BOOK.

Obsessesed? Me? Naw...